Regret
by sylvanius
Summary: ."Numair, Are we going to die?" "Yes" He said, heart breaking. One-shot.


** New one-shot. A little bit angsty and I know most of you don't like that but bare with it :p**

**It's an AU where they didn't get together in RotG and takes place a few years after RotG during a time of battle in Tortall. Enjoy!! It's rated M for an adult scene...it's not too explicit but I figured I'd be safe...  
**

* * *

Numair coughed as he ducked into the now abandoned barracks. The sounds of fighting could still be heard in the distance over the rise and he knew he had only escaped temporarily. The crushed and crumbling walls of the barracks offered little cover but he took what he could get. He ducked under a beam, searching more adequate cover, and sighed as he found a shady area in what seemed to be the remains of a supply closet. He leaned back against one of the walls, praying that it wouldn't give out under his weight and sighed, coughing again as more dust filled his lungs. Both armies' forces were dwindling now yet the fighting persisted. Over the last few days it had turned into smaller battles that spread across the countryside, separated from each other. He and Daine, along with other forces, had ended up trapped between the enemy and the mountains and no reinforcements had arrived. It had been three days with no sign of hope. Each day each sides numbers dwindled lower and Numair had begun to realize that no one was ever going to surrender. He had lost track of Daine the day before and had been separated from her since. He hoped that she had flown back for help; at least he would have known if she were dead, the animals would have let him know.

He wondered if he dare sit down and rest, fearing an attack if he let his guard down. He almost completely drained; he might have strength for a protection spell before he would begin to take from his life force. He needed a little rest before he would be of any use to anyone again. He jumped when he heard movement from outside the barracks and leapt to his feet, preparing himself for an attack. He peered around the wall carefully and relaxed when he saw a fox sniffing the floor of the room. Sensing him the fox looked up and immediately shifted into Daine. His breath caught when he saw her; she was far too pale and her body bore various minor cuts and bruises.

"Thanks the gods Numair; I couldn't find you anywhere." Daine said, relief obvious in her eyes. His eyes darted around quickly until his eyes fell upon a discarded shirt in the rubble. He picked it up and tossed it to her quickly. "Always the gentlemen." She said softly as she pulled it on. When she was done he swept her into a hug.

"Why didn't you fly for help?" He asked, pulling away.

"By the time I realized that help wasn't already on the way I was already too drained to make the trip, I could barely hold onto that fox form." She leaned against him and he felt her shaking against him.

"You're trembling." He said softly and she moved against him gently.

"I'm tired; you're trembling too. Are you drained?" She pulled away and looked up at him.

"Almost. I have just enough to make a protection spell, that way we can get a few hours of sleep." He didn't say anymore, not wanting to touch what they would have to do after they rested. She nodded against his chest and he guided her over to the closet area. She half collapsed onto the floor against the wall and seemed to go almost instantly to sleep. He took a deep breath and created a spell that would hide them from sight for as long as they stayed inside the closet area before he sat down next to her, putting an arm around her and pulling her onto his chest, and fell almost instantly to sleep.

* * *

He awoke to Daine shaking him just after sunset.

"What's wrong?" He asked, standing up next to her and fighting of dizziness.

"I entered an owls mind to get a view of what's going on outside." She said quietly, looking out into the darkness. He felt his heart beating hard in his chest at her tone.

"And?" He said quietly when she offered nothing further.

"It's not good Numair; we're outnumbered ten to one and it's getting worse." He heard the shudder in her voice and stepped behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. Her next words came out small and frail and He had to take a breath before answering. "Numair, are we going to die?"

"Yes." He paused, stroking her shoulder. "I think we are." It killed him that he couldn't offer her any hope but what hope was there to give? They were both exhausted and drained and outnumbered; even they could not survive this. She nodded and turned to him; he could see her eyes shining in the moonlight and reached out to stroke her cheek.

"Well then, I guess." She paused, finding words. "I lived a good life; I had just hoped it would have been longer." He pulled her into a crushing hug then, feeling his eyes sting.

"Me too magelet, me too."

"It's funny." She said, pulling back. "I didn't think I'd know beforehand." There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. "Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you wish you had done?" He question surprised him and he struggled for what to say. He was saved having to answer however when she once again continued. "I think, I think the only thing I regret was never having known what it was like to be loved." He looked at her sharply.

"What?"

"No, I mean, I know I have great friends, family really, and that I have been loved in that way. I just, I never really took a lover, I never fell in love." She spoke quietly and he wasn't even entirely sure that she was talking to him and not just to herself. "I've never even fallen in love and had it end badly. I didn't realize how much I was looking forward to experiencing that; love." The sadness in her voice was piercing and Numair had no words with which to reply; everything he thought of to say fell flat in comparison to her confession. She looked at him suddenly, giving a sad smile. "So, any regrets?"

"Yes." He said slowly, stepping forward, beyond caring about consequences. "There is something I very much regret never telling someone, never doing."

"What is it?" She asked, looking up at him, and he used the opportunity to place his hands on either side of her head and bring his lips to hers. He felt her gasp and respond almost immediately as he felt fire race through his veins. He had had his fair share of woman over the years and none of them compared to this, to this one simple kiss. It was soft and hard and fast and desperate and smooth and so beautiful that he felt his heart breaking. He pulled away, realizing they had to breath, only to have her whisper 'no' and pull him back. The kisses that followed were not tender or slow but frenzied and desperate. He deepened the kiss, tongue coaxing for entrance which she allowed, and heard her moan in response. The next thing he knew her hands were running over his back as his slid down her body, thumbs gliding over her nipples. She pressed more firmly against him, rolling her hips against his own, and he felt himself harden in response and moaned deeply. Her shudder and gasp when he rolled his hips back against hers almost made him lose it right there and the next thing he knew he had her backed against the wall, hands fisting in her hair, tongues desperately dancing with one another. She broke away briefly, her voice ragged.

"Numair, I need you; please." He hands slid down his stomach and he felt her unbuckling his belt as he kissed her neck, nibbling lightly and feeling himself grow even harder at her answering moans and whimpers. Soon he felt cool air reach him as she managed to undo the fasten to his breaches and pulled them down to his knees along with his loincloth, the motion becoming rough with her haste. He wasted no time in lifting her up against the wall and gripping her thighs around his waste before lifting the shirt out of the way and thrusting into her in one swift movement. There was a shuddered gasp and a brief moment of silence before she moaned and rolled her hips against his; whispering pleading words into his ear as his grip on her thighs tightened. Needing no more encouragement he began to move in earnest, thrusting into her deeply.

His own breathing was now coming in shuddering gasps and her hands her fisted in his hair tightly enough to pull. He kissed her again despairingly and she broke away, leaning her head back against the wall and moaning.

"Please, faster Numair, faster." He obeyed and their union became even more frenzied. It was only a matter of moments before he felt his release nearing and he bit his lip, staving it off, wanting to feel her come around him first. He shifted her higher against the wall and began thrusting into her with renewed force. In a matter of seconds he had her reduced to shuddering whimpers and when he felt her shudder and clench around him he covered her mouth with a searing kiss, swallowing her cries, as he followed with his own release. He broke the kiss and nearly collapsed against the wall as he gasped for breath. Her legs slipped from around his waist and he felt her trembling beneath him. There were a few moments of silence save for their shuddering breaths while their heads cleared from the post-sex haze. After a moment Numair pulled up his breaches and re-buckled them as Daine straightened the shirt. She leaned back against the wall and stared at him.

"No regrets?" She said quietly and he leaned forward to kiss her softly.

"No regrets." It was then that it became apparent to him that the sounds of battle wee much closer now. He pulled her into his arms; terrified. "You know what we have to do." She nodded and pulled away, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him softly before backing away. The words he wanted to say were on his lips but he couldn't bring himself to say them, not now, not like this. It had all happened too little too late; this couldn't be the life they were meant to have; the end they were meant to suffer. She reached out and gripped his hand, squeezing it. He opened his mouth to speak the words, knowing that despite the difficulty he needed to, but before he could her clothes had collapsed to the ground and she had shifted and taken to the air. He watched as her form quickly vanished into the darkness before stepping from the now useless ward and heading out into the battlefield.

* * *

Numair collapsed against the base of a tree as his enemy fell dead to the ground a few yards from him. He knew he was finished. The sun was beginning to dawn and he hadn't the strength to even stand up, if he used any more of his magic he would kill himself. He wondered whether it would be better to let himself slip into unconsciousness so as not to feel the killing blow he knew was sure to come or whether to stay alert and go down fighting. Looking towards the sunrise he decided to fight the pull of oblivion, after all this was his last sunrise; what a thing to waste. He stiffened when he heard footsteps approaching him hurriedly but knew he didn't have the strength to do anything about it. He only turned his head when he heard a familiar call.

"Numair!" He tried to stand when he saw Daine running towards him, clad in a poorly fitting pair of breeches and a tunic, but his legs gave out immediately and he collapsed to the ground once again.

"Daine." He croaked, voice hoarse, as tears of relief pricked his eyes. He had thought sure she was dead by now, he had given up hope; leave it to his magelet to prove him wrong. She had reached him and was kneeling in front of him, peppering kissed on his face.

"Oh gods, I couldn't find you Numair. I thought-" He voice broke off strangled and he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm right here magelet. I'm afraid I won't be of much help protecting you though." He was still on alert for enemy stragglers. With that he earned a wet laugh and looked down to see her smiling joyfully at him.

"No Numair, It's over. Alanna showed up with reinforcements about an hour ago. The fighting is finishing everywhere else too. We won." He smiled back at her and sighed the biggest sigh of relief he had ever given. "They're sending horses for us now so you don't have to walk." He laughed at that.

"Daine, I don't think walking is an option." There was a moment of silence before she pulled away and looked at him seriously.

"I just need to know one thing." She said slowly and he looked at her so that she knew he had her full attention. "Was it because you just needed _someone_ or was it because you needed _me_?" He saw the fear in her eyes and reached out to cup her cheek.

"Because I needed you sweetling; it's always been you. I love you." It surprised him how easily the words fell from his lips and was rewarded with another smile.

"I love you too." She whispered, placing her hand over his own, and he felt his heart leap. He opened his mouth to speak, all the fears that had caused him to hide it for so long coming to the surface. He knew they needed to talk about this but she silenced him with a brief kiss.

"Shush, we'll talk later. I'm far too tired for more now." She collapsed against his chest and he sighed again.

"Thank the gods, me too." He felt her trembling against him but knew that he was shaking far worse than her.

"Shush love, you can sleep now. I'll wait for the mounts so that nothing happens." She whispered and he lost consciousness to the feel of her lips on his own.

* * *

**Review please; I usually don't do M rated fics so I'd like some feedback!**


End file.
